Forgive me if this story is a little bit long. I’ve had a me-too moment, and I slept very little last night. It wasn’t one to those sexual me-too moments like has been in the news for the last year or so. It was about the latest college entrance fraud thing that’s been reported in the last few days.

I have sinned and I’m sorry for it. Actually, when I did it I knew it was kinda wrong, but I didn’t realize it was a crime. That realization came yesterday as I watched the news. However, I do believe and hope I am safe due to the statute of limitations. My crime was committed about 1971.

I remember taking my ACT test at Mississippi State when I was in high school. I was one of those kids that was average, at best. Average may be a stretch. I just got by. There were problems on that test that I had no idea what the answer was, so I winged it. A few weeks after taking the test my grade arrived. I had made a fifteen. Fifteen. That was the minimum score that was acceptable for the college I wanted to attend. It was just good enough, and just good enough was good enough for me. I wasn’t about to spend another $10 to retake that test.

While walking the halls of high school I heard other kids talking about the grades they received. “I got a twenty-two!” “I made a twenty-eight.” One friend of mine made thirty-two. When I was asked what I made I mumbled, “Enough.”

In the fall of 1970 my parents drove me down to Hattiesburg, Mississippi and dropped me off in front of the dorm I was assigned to. I was like a stray dog that had been dropped off on the side of the highway. I had absolutely no idea what I was to do next. But as usual, I winged it.

Unlike my older brothers who had received scholarships, my education was totally on me. My father did help me out with a couple of quarters tuition. USM was on the quarter system, unlike most universities that are on the semester system. The rest of the money I earned myself.

I had worked in a store throughout high school for four bucks a day, and I had peddled vegetables from our garden during summer months, so I had saved a little bit of money, but not nearly enough.

To earn extra money in college I had brought with me a rake and a bicycle. Between classes I knocked on doors in affluent neighborhoods and asked if they needed their yards raked. Most of the folks looked at me with pity and gave me five bucks to rake their yards. Lunch money! Most of the students had purchased meal tickets at the beginning of the year. I had my rake and bike.

I remember vividly the Saturday when Southern played Ole Miss at Ole Miss. Southern was known to have the worst team in the conference. They were awful to put it bluntly. The week prior to the game some Ole Miss fan had flown over our campus and dropped hundreds of leaflets stating that Ole Miss was going to stomp us - in not so nice words.

That Saturday I had lucked upon the yard of a doctor not far from the campus. He had dozens of pine trees in his yard and I figured I had hit the mother-load when I knocked on his door and gave me the job. I never gave my “clients” a quote. I just took what they would give me.

The longer I raked the bigger that yard got. By mid-afternoon I was three-quarters through and worn out. I had had nothing to eat and was wondering if I was going to make it when I looked up and the good doctor was walking toward me with a couple of lawn chairs, a cooler, and a radio.

“Sit down kid and take a load off. You have to hear this.”

We took a seat and he turned on the radio. Southern was whooping Ole Miss. He opened the cooler and handed me a sandwich and a cold drink.

We sat there and listened to the end of the game together as Southern finished off one of the best teams in the conference. As the game ended, we heard car horns blowing all over Hattiesburg.

As he reached in his wallet and handed me a twenty, he said, “You’re work here is done. Get back to campus and join in the celebration.”

A Twenty! And I didn’t even finish his yard! That was a great day. It was the most I had ever earned in one day in my life up until then. I was ecstatic as I peddled back to my dorm. That was a good day.

Now for my me-too moment of confession. I was playing cards with a bunch of guys on our floor one day when one of the fellow’s hometown buddy dropped in for a visit. He had just been to the administration building and was feeling down.

He said that he had a full ride football scholarship, but they wouldn’t let him in because he hadn’t passed his ACT test. He illustrated with his thumb and index finger, “I’m this close to getting into college and I can’t because I can’t pass the lousy ACT.”

One of the card players said, “That really sucks, man.”

Another jokingly said, “Sounds like you need to get someone to take it for you!”

Then he said, “I’d give anything if someone would. I sure as heck can’t pass it.”

That was when bells and whistles started going off in my head. “How much would you give?”

Everyone turned and looked at me. They knew I was desperate to earn a buck so I could stay in school.

“Would you do it for twenty?”

“I can’t guarantee I’d pass it for twenty, but I’ll try. I only made a fifteen on mine.”

“Hey, I haven’t got a thing to lose. I’ve failed it twice already. You’ve got a deal!”

One of the guys looked at the big strapping kid and looked over at me and asked, “How in the world do you think you’re gonna pass yourself off as him? You have to dance around in a shower to get wet, and he’s like the Hulk!”

“I’ll figure out a way.”

Back in those days driver’s licenses were just a piece of paper with no photo ID. So, on the given morning of the test the guy handed me his social security card, his driver’s license and a crisp new twenty-dollar bill prior to me walking into the building to take the test.

I fell into a group of high school kids lined up to register to take the test and handed over the driver’s license and SS card. No problem. They never noticed I didn’t weigh 220 or that I wasn’t six foot one.

When the test began, I sped through it, blacking out the little ovals randomly. I had nothing to lose. I finished each category before anyone else in the class. When the rest of the kids had finished and left the building they were stressed and tired. I was rested and bored.

He was waiting outside to collect his IDs. “Hey, buddy, how do you think you did?”

I said, “I feel pretty good about it. But like I told you, I can’t guarantee a passing score. Good luck, man.”

The only thing that bothered me at the time was, what if I failed miserably and the big guy came back and beat me to a bloody pulp.

A few weeks later the Incredible Hulk showed up on my floor. I recognized him from a distance walking toward me in the hall. I didn’t know whether to stand my ground or run. As soon as he saw me, he started screaming and running toward me. I felt my knees buckling and braced for impact as he grabbed me in a bear-hug and lifted me off the floor. I knew I was going to die a horrible death when I heard him shout, “You did it! You did it, little guy!”

“Did what?” as he set me back on the floor.

“I got a twenty-two on the ACT score! I’m in, man. I’m on the football team and I’m going to college!”

I was shocked. “Twenty-two?”

“Yeah. Twenty-two. Can you believe it?”

“No.” I could not. But I was relieved. I would live another day.

Nearly fifty years later, after hearing the news yesterday, I wonder if I should feel bad. I don’t, but I wonder if I should. He helped me and I helped him. I wonder who was helped more. How did his life turn out? Did he graduate from college? Did he go on to play pro? Has his life been better because of the twenty bucks he gave me? I wish I could remember his name so I could look him up and find out. But I have no idea who he was.

Life is funny. I never graduated. I learned that you can only wing it for so long. Situations and not enough money led me down a different road. I’m not complaining. I have far more yesterdays than I do tomorrows, but I have no regrets. I’ve had a blessed life. I hope his was.

I just hope the statute of limitations has run out on what I did when I was young and dumb.

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Rick Algood
March 13, 2019