Did you know there is a nerve above your right eye that relays taste and smell to the brain? Yep. And if you are thrown from a motorcycle and damage that nerve when your head bounces off the pavement you can no longer taste your food. It’s true. At first I thought they were pulling my leg.

Did you know sliding down the road will melt your blue jeans into your skin? And if you slide long enough on your wallet it will rip apart. So will your drivers license and anything else that was kept in it.

iPhones don’t hold up well if used as a skateboard, and those nice iPhone watches aren’t road friendly. Stick with a Timex. Tattoos can be erased on the highway and the emergency room staff get to see ALL of your tattoos. Even the one on your behind that says, “Your name “. It may have won you a lot of beers betting folks being able to sayI have Your name tattooed on my butt over the years, but after you’ve been in a wreck everyone in the ER will know your secret.

When you are alone in the waiting room, unplug the TV so you won’t have to watch the Cartoon Network all day. The warmest place to sit is by the Coke machine. It’s not easy writing on a phone. I prefer my computer.

If you enjoy writing you can get some great ideas for stories sitting in hospital waiting rooms. Thus far, none have been funny. Unless I count the one a fellow told me about being sent home with a cardiac vest he was supposed to wear for a couple weeks to determine if he might need a pacemaker. One day he felt like he was strong enough to drive across town for some fast food so he hopped in his car and took off. A few miles down the road one of his favorite heavy metal bands came on the radio. He reached over and cranked up the volume. Evidently that cardiac best was a tad bit sensitive to vibrations and it fired him up. Not only did it jolt him, it wouldn’t quit. He managed to turn off the radio, hold the car straight and steer it to the side of the road until it came to a stop. A minute later his wife called and said the hospital had detected a malfunction in his vest defibrillator. Was everything alright? Somehow he managed to turn the car around and make it back home. Said he’d lost his appetite.

I’d like to hear more stories but maybe over dinner next time.

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Rick Algood
September 24, 2019