Today I had another one of those moments when came face to face with the joys of getting older. Actually it began Monday. Cyber Monday to be specific.

My wife and I were sitting sitting in the living room innocently watching television when we were made aware that it was Cyber Monday. I looked over at her and asked if there was anything special she wanted for Christmas. She shook her head and said that there wasn’t. I had already gotten her a couple of things she’d mentioned a week or so ago. She was fine with that because she doesn’t like surprises.

Then she asked me if there was anything I wanted. I told her no. I already have just about everything I need or want. (One of the perks of reaching this age.)

Then something occurred to me. “I want a good mop.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah. That little sponge mop I’ve been using just doesn’t cut it. Surely there’s got to be something better out there.”

Since I’m retired and she still works I try to do most of the cleaning. It keeps me busy and takes a load off her. She doesn’t mind as long as I stay away from the laundry. She doesn’t trust me with laundry.

So she got on line and low-and-behold she found a better mop. Or so she said. After punching in a little information she turned to me and said, “Your Christmas present is on the way.”

I was sipping my coffee this morning when I heard our Ring doorbell alert me someone was on the porch. It was Santa.

My new-fangled mop had arrived.

I have to admit I was a bit excited. Not Red Ryder BB Gun excited, but as excited as a guy on Medicare can muster excited.

I opened the box and there it was. My new O’Cedar whirlybird mop and bucket. Oh the joy!

Some assembly was required, but nothing that I couldn’t do. I looked at the contraption and wondered how in the world was that strange looking mop going to clean my kitchen floor.

I filled the bucket with hot water and cleaner and went to work. That odd looking thing actually worked! I dipped it in the bucket and used the little kick-starter on the side. The mop twirled around and around in my hand; then it was suddenly wrung out and ready to use. Amazing. Simply amazing. I cleaned the floor in half the time it normally takes and I didn’t even break a sweat.

Spanky was impressed.

After standing back and seeing what a wonderful job I had done I was suddenly overcome with sadness. I realized I was officially old. Gone are my days of being thrilled with trucks, footballs and BB guns. My Christmas joy now comes from a spinning mop.

What in the world has happened to me?

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Rick Algood
December 4, 2019