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To be Bedazzled or Not To be Bedazzled


"Tis the season. Yes it is. I’ve been bedazzled. Again.

It’s not the first time it has happened. Pushing 70, I’ve experienced it a few times before. But this time was a doozy.

I’m talking about Christmas cards with glitter on them. Or rather, cards with glitter no longer on them.

Normally I just laugh it off. My wife is the one in our family that REALLY can’t stand glitter. All forms of the shimmering stuff has been banned from our property. She hates it.

A week ago we hosted a Christmas party at our house and someone came dressed as an elf. He did such a good job he won the prize for the best costume. One of the things that caught my eye were his stockings. They were white with spiraling red glitter stripes, like candy canes. Of course some of the glitter flaked off, but it was easily cleaned up.

Then the other day a bomb hit. I was sitting in my office opening mail. Among the letters was an obvious Christmas card. When I opened it an endless supply of gold glitter dribbled into my lap.

I froze in place.

I decided that since the deed was done I would go ahead and read the card. After reading it I gently eased it over the trash can and dropped it. Glitter floated down.

I should note that my trash can is more like a black wire basket. I like it because I can see from a distance when I needs to be emptied.

After dropping the card into the trash I stood up and brushed off the glitter. Then I grabbed the vacuum and cleaned my desk, chair and floor. Job accomplished.

Or so I thought.

Today I gathered all the trash cans around the house and carried them through the kitchen to be bagged and carried outside.

Shortly afterwards I noticed a trail of gold throughout the whole house. Out comes the vacuum again and for the next hour and a half I tried sucking up glitter. Just when I thought I had it, I’d see more sparkles in a different place. The more I tried to get rid of it, the more that appeared. I swear I think that stuff multiplies. It’s like the herpes of Christmas cards. You think it’s gone, but somehow it pops up in a different spot. Tinker Bell flying through the house couldn’t have sprinkled more glitter.

I don’t think I ever got it all. Now I understand why my wife hates it.

But I’ve come up with a solution. I have resolved to open all mail I receive in December outside.

So keep those cards and letters coming.

And one more thing; to the person that sent me that wonderful gold glitter bomb - you’ll be receiving my glitter bomb after the first of the year. No card. Just lots and lots of glitter.

After all it Tis the season.

PS; Merry Christmas!

_______________
Rick Algood
December 20, 2019

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