Our lesson in Sunday school this morning came from Luke chapter fifteen. If you’re familiar with the chapter you’ll remember that Jesus told three parables. The first was about a sheep that had wandered off. The second was about a lady who had lost a valuable coin. And the third was about the prodigal son that took his inheritance a tad bit early, squandered it, and returned home.

Lost, misplaced and left pretty much describes the foundations of these parables.

Whenever I hear those stories He told I am reminded of an incident that happened back in the county where I grew up. I know I’ve shared this story a long time ago, but humor me as I share it again while I tell it in light of the lesson we had at church today.

There was a boy a few years younger than me in school. I’ll protect his identity and call him Bobby Lee Gosswell. (Everyone knows a true Southerner has to have two first names. Thus it was with Bobby Lee.)

Bobby Lee came from a family of rock chunkers. One day when Bobby Lee was still a kid, he and his father were chunking rocks at each other. Unfortunately for Bobby Lee his father won that day and Bobby Lee lost an eye. He had to wear a patch for a while until they saved up money and purchased him a glass eye.

Fortune smiled down on him after getting that new eye. He soon discovered that other kids would give him a quarter if he’d take his glass eye out, stick it between his lips and chase girls around the playground. He did quite well until a teacher found out and put an end to his entrepreneurship.

Well, like all of us kids Bobby Lee grew up. They say there’s someone for everyone in this old world, and sure enough destiny presented Bobby Lee with what he thought was the girl of his dreams. I’ll call her Judy. They were a pretty good match.

They fell in love, married, and moved in with Judy’s elderly parents. Life was good for a while.

But like some men, Bobby had a roving eye. He noticed there were other women that were prettier than Judy.

Furthermore, he had grown tired of Judy’s parents telling him what to do. His wife seldom took his side and he noticed that she had become a bit bossy.

To put it mildly, Bobby Lee was miserable.

Then one day providence found him while he was walking down the road. At first he thought someone had tossed out some old clothes. On closer observation he realized it was a body lying in the ditch. For a moment he was terrified. But only for a moment. Suddenly, a rare, brilliant idea popped into Bobby Lee’s head. Just like the prodigal son he saw a way out of his miserable life.

The body was badly decomposed. It was about his size. So what did he do? He took out his glass eye and plugged it into the dead man’s socket. From his wallet he took a few dollars before slipping it into the deceased pants pocket.

Then he simply walked away.

Judy became annoyed when her husband didn’t return home on time. Hours passed and still Bobby Lee didn’t return home. Annoyance, became worry. Worry became fear. The authorities were notified and a search began. Several days later they happened upon what they assumed was poor Bobby Lee’s badly decomposed body lying in that ditch. It had to be him. After all, that was the route he normally walked. His wallet with his identification was still in his pants. And the number one identifying factor? It was his glass eye.

It was most definitely a closed casket service. It was nice. A few flowers. After few kind words and a scripture or two Bobby Lee was laid to rest in a nearby cemetery.

It was difficult at first. A hit and run driver? Oh how he must have suffered lying in that ditch alone.

Life eventually went on, as it always seems to. Days became weeks. Weeks became months. Memories faded - somewhat.

A few months later a fellow that knew Bobby Lee happened to be driving down a rural road in an adjoining county when low-and-behold, what did he see? There was ole Bobby Lee walking behind some cows on a dairy farm. He was certain it was him because he was wearing a patch over one eye.

When he returned home he shared the good news that Bobby Lee was alive and well, working on a dairy farm in the next county!

Judy and her parents went through several emotions when they received word that dear, departed Bobby Lee was among the living.

Disbelief. Astonishment. They were perplexed. Anger? I don’t know. But they did drive to the adjoining county to find him and bring him home.

Just like Mr. Luke wrote in chapter fifteen, the lost sheep had been found and returned to the fold. The precious coin was back! It was time to rejoice!

But unlike the prodigal son, Bobby Lee hadn’t really returned on his on. No sir.

The authorities heard about poor ole Bobby Lee rising from the dead and wanted to know the whole story. The truth and nothing but the truth. They wanted to know who they’d buried in that cemetery.

Bobby Lee was interviewed and came clean. He told them how he’d been walking down the road and stumbled upon the body in the ditch. He confessed that he planted his identification on the corpse and left his glass eye at the scene to throw people off. He confessed that he was in a marriage in which he was miserable and he just plain wanted out. He saw an opportunity and in not so many words, he ‘Carpe’ Diemed’ it.

It was a small town. They knew him. They knew his wife and her parents. They determined that the best punishment was to send him back home with his wife. And so they did.

I don’t know what happened after that. The fellow that shared this information left it there. I’d like to think they patched things up and lived happily ever after, but I don’t know.

I do know that the lost sheep was found. The lost coin turned up. And Bobby Lee was reluctantly dragged home.

The Book of Rick, chapter umpteen

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Rick Algood
March 8, 2020