Do you have a mask to wear when you go out in public shopping? I do. My wife fired up her sewing machine and made a couple for all of us- children and grandchildren included.

One of mine is navy-blue on the outside and grey on the inside. The other has a field of white stars on a blue background. She made it out of an old pair of her pajamas. Nice to know.

Now when I go to the grocery store or Lowe’s nobody can tell who I am. It’s kinda nice if I’m in a hurry and run into someone that knows me and wants to talk.

Just wait until I’m in the garden center wearing sunglasses and the mask. I’ll probably be the invisible man.

But this isn’t the first time I’ve worn a mask. I invented the whole body mask for when you’re flying a couple years back. The only problem is that I forgot to patent it. Now somebody out there is most likely getting rich off my idea. I believe it may be as good as or better than my corn hole grave cover idea. I submitted that one to a manufacturer just the other day. It’s a large corn hole board that will cover an entire grave. I call it “The Glory Hole.” Beneath the hole in the board a deep post hole is dug into the ground. Ashes of the dearly departed are sewn into several fancy, tufted-satin bean bags and when the graveside service is over those in attendance take turns lobbing their loved one’s remains at the hole. If they are successful, the bag drops through and into the grave. The winner gets his/her choice of wreaths to take home. I think it’s a win-win situation. You don’t even have to hire a grave digger. Just purchase a set of post hole diggers. How can you be sad while trying to lob old grandpa into a hole one bag at a time? Impossible!

Back to my other idea. I came up with the whole body mask when my family and I had to catch the red-eye back from Hawaii. I was already tired by the time we boarded our flight and told my wife I planned on getting some sleep. She wished me luck.

Have you ever tried sleeping on a plane? It’s not that easy. Especially if you have an aisle seat. First, there’s always chatter. Then there’s always someone behind you that wants to give your a back massage with their knees. Add to that flight attendants asking if you’d like some pretzels. Then a few minutes later they come by taking drink orders. Another interruption comes when they deliver the drinks. Later they come back collecting trash. All the while you’re probably getting that unwanted knee massage.

Luckily when I took my seat there was one of those small blankets waiting for me. I looked at it and had an ah-ha moment.

After buckling up I pretended to have a coughing/hacking attack. When I stopped I threw the blanket over my head, tilted the seat back and stayed quiet. The blanket was thin enough to see through. I noticed glances in my direction. No knee massage. The guy behind me didn’t want to wake the hooded rascal in front of him. A few minutes later we lifted off the runway and began the six hour flight to the mainland. I slept the whole way. No one bothered me. I snored.

A row or two in front of me my daughter was dying laughing. She’s the one that took this picture. You can see a partial shot of her in the lower left corner.

So there are pluses to wearing face mask and whole body mask.

My advice is that you should wear a face mask while out in public for the foreseeable future. It’s the responsible thing to do.

The whole body mask? Wear it at your own peril. Someone may take your picture and post it on Facebook.

By the way, I’m still waiting to hear from that manufacturer about my Glory Hole idea. - Any day now -

_______________
Rick Algood
Aprl 20, 2020