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My Dog's Mad At Me


It’s supposed to get up to seventy-one today. I carried all my pot plants outside so they could soak up a little sunshine. I call them pot plants because they are confined to a pot. My daughters have informed me I shouldn’t call them pot plants. They think I should call them house plants. As if the police are gonna come swooping down and arresting an old guy like me for setting begonias out on his patio. I doubt it. Okra- maybe. Even I have taken a double-take when I’ve seen okra growing in someone’s backyard.

After I set all my plants out there I decided to sit and listen to some music on my phone. So I put my earbuds in, leaned back a was gazing around my backyard kingdom. I’m kinda proud of it. Since I retired I’ve been working to get it to look like one of those yards that are pictured in Better Homes and Gardens magazine.

I’d listened to a few songs on YouTube when I happened to catch a glimpse of Spanky coming towards me out of the corner of my eye. There was something unrecognizable hanging from the side of his mouth. I took a second look.

It was a baby rabbit. A very dead baby rabbit. I jumped up and said, “Give it to me!”

Grrrrrrrrrrr.

I suppose that means no in doggy language.

I tried to pull it away, but he clamped down harder.

Grrrrrrrrrrrr.

I had to pry his mouth open to free the little thing.

Grrrrrrrrrrrr.

He wanted that rabbit pretty bad. I thought otherwise. All I need is him hacking up bunny bits in the house later tonight.

I took it to the back of our lot a gave it a fling. Bye-bye bunny.

I went to the pergola and resumed listening to Jay and the Americans. Jay Black had was just about to hit the high notes of Cara Mia and I was just about to close my eyes to savor the moment when I noticed some activity in the hostas.

It was Spanky. He had a death grip on another baby rabbit.

Talk about a mood killer. I never got to enjoy Cara Mia’s ending - the high notes. I’ve never understood how Jay Black could have a range like that.

Again, I leapt from my seat to wrestle with Spanky before he swallowed the bunny.

Grrrrrrrrrrrr.

This time he put up an even bigger fight. He wanted that rabbit bad. I had to call for backup. I pried his jaws apart while Tina tugged on the deceased rodent. He. Did. Not. Want. To. Let. GO!

Finally - Success!

Grrrrrrrrrr. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Tina did the honors of flinging the tiny, lifeless creature into oblivion while Spanky and I looked on. I had no idea she could throw a dead animal that far.

We searched all through the hosta and the surrounding flower beds. No more bunnies in sight.

Now my dog is ticked and lays there looking up at me with disdain, like, “Hey, that was my rabbit.”

I wonder how long it’ll take him to get over this traumatic event.

When I plugged back into Jay and the Americans This Magic Moment was just beginning. Sadly, I was no longer in the mood. There’s no magic in prying dead bunnies away from an angry dog.

Perhaps I should switch to Metallica

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Rick Algood
April 22, 2020

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