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Staying Between The Lines


We didn’t have refrigerator magnets when I was a kid. It wasn’t a thing. But if we had had them my mother probably wouldn’t have put up my work. There was too much of it. I was a prolific drawer, but I was never good with colors. If you’ve seen anything I’ve done with paints or colors you understand. I have trouble staying between the lines. Staying between the lines must be a gift. My daughters can do it- color between the lines. One buys adult coloring books and relaxes that way. Not me.

I went to Aldi’s the other day to grab a carton of ice cream. That’s all I wanted. Ice Cream. I felt it was essential. I love ice cream. I live for ice cream. Vanilla, chocolate, strawberry; it doesn’t matter. I’ll eat any of it. Just give me my ice cream.

After I parked I noticed they had put up tiny little orange cones you had to walk between to get into the store. Okay. There were also a lot of signs asking folks to stay six feet apart. Okay.

Then when I went inside I noticed arrows taped to the floor, directing the flow of traffic. Hmmmmm. Well, okay. I tried to play along. But I could see the ice cream as I entered the store over to my left. I knew where it was because I’d been in that store a hundred times before. - To get ice cream.

But I was trying to be a rule follower. The person in front of me had come to grocery shop. Now when my wife grocery shops she has a list. She knows what she wants. She gets what she wants and nothing more. She’s organized like that. She’s what you would call a right brained person. Very logical. Organized. Mission minded. A strict rule follower. Very little thinking outside the box. We are opposites, but it works for us. She either loves me or she’s been hanging around the last forty-five years to see what I’ll get into next.

The lady in front of me wasn’t like my wife at all. She’d pick something up, look at it, put it back. Move forward a little and do it again. Hmmmmm. I could feel my blood pressure rising. I got a tad closer than the six recommended feet. I thought it would encourage her to ease along. Nope. She gave me the look.

Ten minutes and thirty feet further into the store we came to junction. It was like landing on that shortcut bridge in Candyland. I was able to jump ahead to the next aisle. Hallelujah!

But wait. The arrows on the floor were taking me further away from the ice cream. Dang. Bad move. Someone was behind me and I couldn’t go backwards.

I was trapped. Now I had someone in front of me and someone behind me.

My anxiety medication was waning. I could hear the chocolate ice cream calling out to me. “Over here! I’m right over here!”

In my mind I had switched from Candyland to Monopoly. I had landed in jail.

Finally I made it to another junction. It was at that point I couldn’t take it anymore. I was busting outa jail. I darted over a couple aisles, hung a hard left and jogged all the way to the freezer section. I grabbed TWO boxes of ice cream, one chocolate and one vanilla, before heading directly to the checkout line.

Little beads of sweat were forming on my forehead. Was I in Candyland again? Would I almost get to the rainbow’s end only to get sent all the way back to the beginning? Or worse, would they kick me out of the store? Would someone call the police?

“Hey! This guy’s got TWO ice creams! He’s a hoarder! Arrest him!”

But no. That didn’t happen. There was only one person in front of me in the checkout line. I stood six feet behind him and waited my turn.

“That’ll be eight dollars and twenty six cents.”

What? No reprimand for not following all the little arrows? Gee, what a relief. I shoved my credit card into the slot and just like that I was home free.

As I was walking out I noticed the person I had been behind when I first entered the store was only only on aisle two. So much for coloring between the lines.

I was free. And I had ice cream. TWO ice creams.

_______________
Rick Algood
April 23, 2020

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