Tina was taking a nap, and I figured I’d be back before she woke.

It must have been a slow afternoon at the shop. Only one lady was cutting hair as I walked in. The others were bunched up and chatting away in the corner.

The lady with pink and purple hair, tattoos and piercings broke herself away and checked me in. Evidently my life history was on the computer.

“Let’s see. You use a number seven around the sides and a scissor cut on the top. Does that sound right?”

I acknowledged that it did.

“Would you like for me to just shave off the top?”

I paused. I know it’s very thin up there, but I’m not ready to shave it off!

“No thank you. I’m attached to the remaining hairs that are desperately clinging on. I believe we should just give them a chance. Who knows, they may have a party and invite some friends over or something.”

I couldn’t tell if there was a smile or a smirk behind her bejeweled mask.

She began cutting, pushing the clippers about my head. Normally, there is small talk, but not this time. She was concentrating on her job. The others ladies resumed their conversations over in the corner.

Suddenly, my phone rang. I was going to ignore it. After all, I was taking up her time and should have silenced my phone upon entering the establishment.

But she was nice and said, “Go ahead and take it, honey. We’re not that busy.”

I thanked her as I fumbled to retrieve it from my shirt pocket. I recognized the caller ID. It was my wife. Evidently, she had awakened and wondered where I was.

I mumbled, “It’s my parole officer.”

You could have heard a pin drop. She backed away. The other ladies quit talking. There was total silence.

I spoke into the phone, “I’m getting a haircut. I’ll see you when I’m done.”

By their reaction I felt I owed her an explanation as I was putting my phone away. “It was my wife. She was asleep when I left the house and I didn’t want to wake her.”

There was a collective sigh of relief from the ladies in the corner.

Miss pink and purple, tattooed and pierced lady stepped closer and resumed shoving the clippers into my scalp.

I sensed there was finally about to be some small talk, but I assumed wrong.

She finished, I paid and handed her a generous tip.

I fully expect to see another tattoo or piercing added to her lovely collection the next time I need a haircut.

At the very least, she should add a strip blue or green to her hair.