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A Fist Full of Vanilla Wafers and a Few Wafers More


Happy Mother’s Day to all you ladies who dealt with children no matter whether they were yours or not. I’m certain there were times you felt as if they belonged to you and I’ll bet they felt the same.

But there’s always an exception and most likely I was one of those. I was a handful. I was that kid. The exception.

I say this because I was the little boy that was nearly kicked out of the church nursery.

The picture I’ve shared with this post was probably taken on Mother’s Day. I say that because I was wearing shorts and May in Mississippi has been known to be warm.

Note that my mom had hog-tied me, slicked back my hair, forced my little feet into shoes and made me presentable for church. She looks weary, doesn’t she? She deserved a trophy for all she went through on Sunday mornings to get us out the door.

After we arrived at church, the nursery workers would pry me from one of her legs, kicking, screaming and biting, thus allowing her a moment to escape down the hall to her Sunday school class.

Once she was out of sight they’d give me Vanilla Wafers by the handfuls just to keep me quiet. There were never enough Vanilla Wafers. Woe be the nursery worker who forgot to bring the wafers.

After a while they’d had enough. Someone sent for my mom. She had to come and sit with me, the juvenile Hannibal Lecter of Louisville, Mississippi.

As Sundays came and went she ended up teaching the class. She promoted with me to the kindergarten class the following year. If I looked like I was going to bite someone she’d open up a fresh box of Vanilla Wafers. The other kids caught on and it was like a shark feeding frenzy.

By the end my kindergarten year I was broken from biting people and moved up with the rest of the class to the primary department, leaving my mother behind in the kindergarten class where she remained until I was out of college.

I suppose that’s why when I think of Mothers Day I think of Vanilla Wafers. Surely they go together, don’t they?

So Happy Mothers Day to all you ladies who have dealt with children. If there’s still anyone out there who was bitten by me, I’m sorry and I hope it didn’t leave a mark.

And thanks for the Vanilla Wafers.

_______________
Rick Algood
May 7, 2022

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