It’s been several years since we’ve held a yard/garage sale. I’d forgotten how interesting, unusual and unique people are while sifting through things that were once your prized possessions.

Conversations and comments are both interesting and alarming.

Here are a few things I learned this weekend:

The government is going to soon reimburse all the money we have ever paid in taxes.

J. F. K. Jr is actually alive and well. He will make his appearance known soon.

All those jet trails in the sky are actually aluminum particles that reflect ultra violent rays back into space.

In two weeks everything is going to change.

The entire royal family is evil. They conduct fox hunting parties, only with small children instead of foxes.

Our military has been secretly working for another country. But don’t worry about nuclear proliferation. Everything will be revealed in two weeks after the queen’s funeral.

After the garage sale ended we still had a lot of things in the garage that had to go.

I wondered how in the world we were going to get rid of it all.

My daughter made a post. Low and behold an hour later a gentle giant that was a cross between John Cotton of The Green Mile fame and Karl Childers of Slingblade arrived in his pickup.

Slowly and methodically he started on one side of my garage and began loading things into the bed of his truck.

Even though we’d told him he could have everything in the building occasionally he’d mumble, “This go?”

I’d reply to the affirmation, he’d nod and being again making trip after trip to his truck.

We watched in awe as he hulked my enormous desk out and placed it in the back of the pickup as if it was nothing.

An hour and a half later he had 95% of the garage emptied and piled onto his truck.

Hot, tired and sweating, he looked up and said, That’s about all I can do now.”

He walked over, stuck out a huge paw and mumbled, “Thank you”, before he lumbered back to his vehicle and slowly drove away.

After he was gone my wife, daughters and I felt as if we had been in the presence of an angel.

Perhaps we had.

Oh, - That big purse the queen always carried around everywhere she went? There was a head in it.

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Rick Algood
September 11, 2022